"BIG RUDE  JAKE"
(Defiance)            

 1. Gotham City Serenade
1.
Bearing a cross in a jerk-water ‘burg,
Where the fact of the matter takes a turn for the worst.
And getting out of bed is too much work,

When you’re dead-wide-awake and you don’t care.

When Mike the Spike came into sight,
After shagging a rose in down in Brooklyn Heights.
He’s says the Big Town is gonna wail tonight,

And don’t you know that I’m gonna be there.

Chorus:
I wish you could be here with me,

On this night in New York City.

I wish you were standing here, 

As Broadway opens up her arms.

When the crimson skyline bruises black,

And lights up like a favourite song,

I wish you could be here with me,

On this night in New York City.

2.
And in the project homes in Bedford Stuye,
Some seven flights into the sky
A sweet young thing talks to her guy,

With one leg on the windowsill.

She says, they might give you accolades,
And they might play at lawn Croquet,
In beatnik shades of pigeon gray,

But they won’t love you like I will…

And she says..
Chorus

3.
The Geronimo Kid was the new St. George,
With a Gibson guitar for a rapier sword.
Drove a Cutlass Supreme to the Rockaway shore,

Slew a hep-cat dragon, jammin’ on the beach.

And the pork-pied-piper blew that song ,
And the Jericho walls came a-tumblin’ down.
And the rats assembled in the middle of the town

And they danced into the shadows and right out of reach.

Chorus

2. Queer for Cat

I stayed out late
Last Saturday night
And I finally made it home about 3.
And, Oh! My Lord,
When I walked through the door,
What do you think I’d see?

With her hair up fine
and a scoop neck line
and a red dress bustin’ at the seems
With the music slow
and the lights down low
I saw my girl with the girl of my dreams!

My gal is queer for cat!
She’s queer for cat and that’s a fact!
She likes 'em tall and slim and stacked,
And she likes it that I like it that she likes it like that!

She says lets go swingin’!
Let’s paint the town!
You and me and kitty makes three.
Ain’t no doubt about it, we sure get around!

My gal is queer for cat!
She’s queer for cat and that’s a fact!
She likes 'em tall and slim and stacked,
And she likes it that I like it that she likes it like that!

In days of old,
Or so I’m told,
The Greeks and them crazy old Romans
Were wont to employ
Some fat little boy
In the place of a sweet fine woman.

Now in the modern age,
We’ve changed the stage,
But folks are still slaves to fashion.
People still do
what they’re told to do,
But now the trend is much more to my liking!

I tell ya, now
My gal is queer for cat!
She’s down on the mound and sweet on the slack!
She can please the pink in five minutes flat
And she likes it that I like it that she likes it like that!

She says lets go swingin’!
Lets jump the jive
I know a spot where the music’s hot
And you’ll be the happiest man alive!

My gal is queer for cat!
She’s queer for cat and that’s a fact!
She likes 'em tall and slim and stacked,
And she likes it that I like it that she likes it like that!

Let me tell ya: she likes it like that!

3. Mercy for the Monkey

1.
I’m going down to Terrebonne Parish,
Where the River surrenders to the Bayou.
I’m gonna set a trap, I’m gonna bag a monkey, man
gonna get myself some monkey tail stew

I’m gonna get a cedar box from that old general store,
Cut a hole in it the size of a peach.
I’m gonna fill that cedar box with licorice and sugar cane,
Gonna tie that cedar box to a tree.

That’s all it takes, and I say…

(Chorus:)
Lord have mercy on the monkey, man
For the monkey, man, is such a fool
Monkey love his candy and monkey love his cane.
Gonna get myself some monkey tail stew

2.
You see the monkey ambles up to that sweet cedar box
And before he can know what it’s about,
He can squeeze a hand into that tight little hole
But he can’t pull the sweet candy out.

And so the monkey sits all day and all night
With his hand on the candy in the a hole
Monkey can’t eat, and the monkey can’t sleep,
But the monkey just can’t let go.

And I say
(Chorus)

3.
I am that I am, and I fear the monkey, man.
I fear that I am bound to be like he.
And I do declare that this dogged desire
Oh, Lord, will surely be the death of me!

And I say
(Chorus)

4. Buster Boy (Walk Tall)

I was born on a tear
With the fight in my eyes
I came out swinging like a hep-cat on the stage
And the doctor said to mother
This one is Trouble's younger brother
You better see to it and ween his wicked ways

So some butcher quack
Crept up to my crib
And as I slept he pulled a knife on me
And he left me bald
And crying out loud
To wonder why they did this thing to me

When you’re walkin’ down the street, walk tall buster boy
And Feel the beat beneath your feet, walk tall buster boy!
Some day the world will love you and see you as I do,
Till then, you gotta walk tall, buster boy, walk tall.

On the day that I left,
I told them not to take it hard.
It’s not their fault; I just got bored of being bored.
I put my papers on the pyre
And set the whole damn thing on fire
Turned on one quick heel and headed out the door.

5. Song for Lilly Christine

1.
There’s a woman in the desert,
Lying in the sun.
And the heat flicks across
Her butterscotch thighs.
And should I imbibe
Them gin-dappled eyes,
I might fall over drunk,
But not satisfied.

My Lilly
Caramel Christine,
I can taste your name
Trip (slip) along my tongue.
And the whole world trembles
When I’m watching you move:
So many years between you and my love.

(Chorus)
My Lilly,
Kitty Cat Christine,
My life for your love,
Would not be in vain.
The world may have lost you
To the languor in time,
But I will forever remember your name.

2
The skin beneath the scab
Is blameless and pink,
And free from sin,
And Lust and deceit.
And so might she too
Be gentle and sweet,
But no one looks so pure
In the great pounding heat.

So as the sweat collects
On her brow and her breast,
And beads on her belly,
And on to her ankle,
She steams like a stovepipe,
Smokes like a hot-knife,
Moves like a tiger
Out on the Bengal.

My Lilly (Chorus)

6. Blue Pariah (#1)

(This is the original version of a song that appears on the big Rude Jake album “Blue Pariah.”  I was always disappointed that we never recorded in quite the way I wanted, i.e. in the style of a Quincy Jones soundtrack or theme song.  So, when the old band quit, I saw it as an opportunity to re-record this number on my own terms.  However, the record company did not want to pay for the extra recording time, so we just winged it one day and taped it live off the floor.  The band did a great job, but it still is not quite what I was looking for.  In a classic case of music industry irony, the record company decided they liked the track and insisted that we put it on the CD even after they discouraged us from recording it in the first place.  So here is the so-called “original version,” thus referred to as #1. The lyrics are slightly altered. Also check out the version on 2011's album "Live & Out Loud". There's live video, too, on Youtube.)

On a day like this in the Market quarter
In alleys lined in patchwork posted bills
And coats of paint like petals peel
And colors glow from within themselves

Serengeti pink and Prussian blue
Rembrant reds and amber honey golds
And Garden greens and deadly shark skin grays
As the mob thickens, the mystery unfolds.

(Chorus:)
And I take to shade, and I play the shadows
And I watch my back and I play it cool.
And I stand on guard and I stop to wonder
As one day withers and a new one blooms.

And on a day like this in the grid-lock traffic
In the grinding gears and the razor wires
And a thousand faces and the island music
The charge electric, in the air and sky

And fresh killed flesh, and rhinestone studded ironies
Are crucified on every porch and post.
And vestal whores on second story balconies
Cuttlefish and diesel go dancing up your nose

(Chorus)

And the city steams and rides a steelyard fulcrum
It teeters and sways in the sundown light.
I hold my breath and I hang in the balance
Of a city that reels b’tween despair and delight.

And I am not your judge, I am not your Champion
I won’t straight the road for some new messiah.
I am a boulevard dog in the concrete corridor
I am compelled by a mystery, I am the Blue Pariah.

(Chorus 2x)

#KensingtonMarket

7. Speak Easy

1.
Cattin’ around after hours,
Speak Easy, my friend, Speak Easy:
I heard a cadence in the rhythm,
And in the rumble down in the street.

And one sweet chorus comes to mind:
Speak Easy, my friend, Speak Easy,
As the swaggered slack in my staggered step
Gives into a melody.

(Chorus)
And it ain’t ‘cause I’m lazy, baby:
It’s just there’s nothin’ that I wanna do.
‘Cause nothin’ seems worth doing,
If I gotta do it without you.

2.
And I know you're angry and I know you ache,
But Speak Easy, my friend, Speak Easy,
And an ember glows inside your coat,
And Sizzles next to your heart.

You’re just like all the rest of us,
In this Speak Easy, my friend, Speak Easy,
Hang dog blue and out of breath,
Beat, down and out, clear right from the start.

Chorus

Bridge:
Throw back your head,
And swing wild at the moon:
Eye-toothed and crazy,
And torn up in rage.
Ring out your guts like a dirty old rag,
‘Till the tears burn furrows
from your eyes down your face.

3. (half verse)
(Then) Pull up a chair and raise a glass,
And Speak Easy, my friend, Speak Easy.
Some day, some day, we’ll be happy again,
For tonight we rest fallow in the blues.

And I know an old whiskey barrel
Speak Easy, my friend, Speak Easy,
And a song we used to sing there,
And a girl that I once knew.

And a song we used to sing there,
And a girl that I once knew.

And nothing seems worth doing,
If I gotta do it without you.

8. Dinner with the Devil

When the devil came to dinner
Our mom was quite impressed
She said, “Why can’t you be more like
Our esteemed satanic guest?”

 
And he always knows just what to say
And how exactly to behave
And makes for such a pleasant stay
As he plots to steal our souls away

And you may call it irony when coincidence collides
But I’ve had dinner with the devil, and I have seen the light
And you may call it righteousness when civility survives
But I’ve had dinner with the devil and I know nice from right

And no one could believe it when the nicest guy in town
Took an axe as big as him and chopped his family down
And he was careful when he spoke
To never tell a dirty joke
He never swore or even smoked
Or interrupted other folks

And everyone was baffled when the nicest girl we knew
Knocked off a local grocery with a loaded .32
And never wore her dress too tight
Or ever stayed out late at night
Or ever strayed from teacher's sight
‘Cause she was always so polite

And our mom says she’s changed her mind about the devil’s brood
They may be evil, so she thinks, but at least they're never Rude!
And hasn’t he got lovely hair
And hasn’t he got looks to spare
With Elegance and graceful flair
As he pulls out a lady's chair

9. East Side Jive
Leaning up and looking large
In a swank Delancy bar
I was aqua vitae and "who loves ya baby"?
I was three fingers tall in a malt whiskey jigger
Knowin' just how far that that jive was Gonna get me

Now, I don't say I got the right,
I'm just tellin' what it's like.
My friends say "What you got to go shoutin' about?
Unsound and senseless, unruly and reckless
And callin' some heavy cat out!"

But I was gassed up and geared up
And brother, don't you know it,
I was greased up and runway ready
I was two pair better than that cat's high card bluff
'Till I ran two yards short in the city

CHORUS:
Meet me on the East side Baby.
Meet me on the East side of town.
I'm livin' on the outside, baby.
Checkin' in to see what's goin' down

She drove a Mean Mercedes, hard
And death card coloured
She pushed her white walls
Up against the curb.
I said, "That ain't no way to go and treat that good rich rubber."
She said, "You better cart your carriage out of here."

'Cause she got a kid leather gorilla man
And from what I understand,
He's first in line every time and every where that he goes
With a wide stride cock-walk like he owns the whole sidewalk
A brass cheek and a face that nobody knows.

Consequently, she had nerve in her curves,
But that ain't the worst
She could sex you but she sure weren't pretty
She was tore up from the floor up with a fish-eye grin
And I landed two yards short in the city

And the subliminal criminal
At the four transit terminal
Robs you blind when you're just standing there talking
With no scratch until Tuesday and no line of credit
You'll be lucky if you leave and you're still walking

'Cause with everyone sweating'
Workin' hard at not workin',
Big wheels and sweet deals
And angles everyday
I figure one score more and there'll be bodies on the floor
So don't you give truck to what the suckers gotta say

'Cause I had an outstanding plan
To take on the Man
I had green on the hip and cash in the kitty.
I was two Lincolns long at the Chase Manhattan,
'Till I landed two yards short in the city

And I say, who cares if you're
King of the Hill Jack,
Or some speck on the side of the roadmap
Gettin' fat, pullin' slack, fingers folded in your lap
A frog prince in frilly fancy pants

I say, give me the brush-burn abrasion
And the stinging sensation
Of hunger and liquor and lust
Give me shadows that breathe like true living things
In the din of the ramshackle rush

And when the devil-may-care
Testosterone stare
And the glare in this eye turns to spaghetti,
(limp like spaghetti)
I'll be two days older, a hundred years smarter,
And two yards short in the city

10. Let’s Kill All the Rock Stars

Salutations Boys and Girls
And welcome to the Modern world
And the Splendid Stinking Mess that the others left behind
Them who stood to curse the Gods
Have built an alter to themselves
And they squandered all our hopes and Stole our Peace of mind
Well, they're Swindlers and they're thieves
And they're Big Celebrities

Chorus
Oh, Let’s kill all the rock stars,
Lets line the fuckers up and shoot the fuckers down
I’m pissed off and I’m bored
With all these corporate Whores
Oh, lets kill all the rock stars. Put them 6 feet in the ground
Oh, lets kill all the rock stars. Put them 6 feet in the ground

Them Hippy Dippy Hypocrites
With a B.T. Barnum bag of shit
And the Artist formally known as a man I could admire
And here comes Princess Smarty Pants
With a Limousine and a Grand Pretence
And the radio plays the same old shit, over and over and over and over
And as I stare in disbelief,
She flicks a perfumed handkerchief

Chorus
Oh, Let’s kill all the rock stars,
Lets line the fuckers up and shoot the fuckers down
Someone's got to pay
For all the shit I’ve had to take
Oh, lets kill all the rock stars. Put them 6 feet in the ground
Oh, lets kill all the rock stars. Put them 6 feet in the ground

And In the Pits of Hell
Elvis lifts his pointy tail
And he pulls a hunk of burning love out of his ass
And as they force it in the face
Of one of his dead proteges
Elvis waits impatiently for the next ones life to pass.

Coked up, coughing, whining wheezing
Pancake make up bloated bleeding…

Chorus
Oh, Let’s kill all the rock stars,
Lets line the fuckers up and shoot the fuckers down
I’m sick of all the hype
And all the bullshit artsy tripe
Oh, lets kill all the rock stars. Put them 6 feet in the ground
Oh, lets kill all the rock stars. Put them 6 feet in the ground

11. Andy’s Requiem

In this first and blackest minute,
I whistle a requiem for a good little man.
Trampled and lonely,
I was glad for him when he died:
A clever, wit-whimsy gamine,
Doughy, and crease and soft:
A stand up who hated the gag
And told me over and again in private moments
That he’d never let himself breathe past 35,
Squeamish of the day
He’d see a petty minuscule reflection
Living the Sartrian nightmare.

Clipped in the ear and heeled on the rope
With a choke and a switch willow whip
Begging for a stroke and pet.
Would they just have declared him a good little man
Thinking it was not in vain.

Andy, I wish I could say I’ll miss ya,
I wish I was sorry, I wish I was stricken,
But none of it’s true.
Still, I won’t forget the things you taught me
With the lies you believed in your poor chaffing heart,
And your prayers that went unanswered.
I’ll honour your name,
I’ll tend to the grave
The unfinished business and all the loose ends
I’ll remember the debts outstanding, Andy
And, unlike you, I’ll make them pay.

And when I come upon a slitted sideways glance,
Or sulking clot-coloured lips, I’ll tell them:
You may have been displeased with the state of his gait,
And his brisket not perfectly straight,
But before you complain,
Be glad it weren’t me and the end of your chain.

The old boys dead, sweet heart
And whats left is a rage like December:
Without will, without reason,
It acts from it’s nature.
And what fool fights the hail and the wind
And the black seething night?

Go tell the mistress on the mule and the cackling hens,
The wee wicked lads an the good little men:
In this first and blackest minute,
I whistle Andy’s Requiem.

I whistle Andy’s Requiem.